Chapter Twenty-Four (In which things could have been wrapped up quickly, but then Shmeyer would've had to stop writing)

Well, toastyreaders, we've finally reached the last chapter. Don't get excited just yet, though-- a soggy epilogue is close on its heels.

CHAPTER SUMMARY-- Bella wakes up in the hospital to find Edward sitting in the corner, pretending to nap. He informs her, among other other things, that her mother is off getting coffee and will be back soon. When Bella asks how her vamp-related injuries were explained to her mother, he responds that they're saying she fell down two flights of stairs and out of a window (what's important to note is that Bella is so egregiously bad at basic physical functions that at this point, no one has a problem believing she's capable of such a tumble). The subject of James also comes up--finally--but gets brushed aside with the explanation that Emmett and Jasper 'took care of him'. Alice saw the tape of the incident, including James' long-winded exposition, and therefore knows all about her hitherto-mysterious past. At this point in the proceedings, Bella's mum returns and tells Bella that Phil (formerly known as the Not Very Good Ball Player) has been signed to a team after all, so now they get to settle down in Jacksonville, and Bella can come live with them in the heat and sunshine; however, Bella, much to the surprise of hardly anyone, insists that she's changed her mind and wants to stay in Forks, despite how much she previously raved otherwise. After a bit more fussing and whatnot, Mom takes off for some forgettable reason, and Edward tells Bella in a bit of a roundabout way that she should go live with her mother, 'somewhere he can't hurt her'. Bella, as per usual, goes completely nuts. Edward tries to call the nurse to sedate her, but Bella insists that he's just trying to leave her forever and makes him swear he'll stay. Once he's assured her he won't leave, Bella incites another argument about how he could have just let her turn into a vampire, and thus wouldn't have to worry about accidentally damaging her. The conversation gets Edward a bit huffy, especially when Bella guesses that the reason for Ed and Alice's tension--Alice has had a vision in which Bella is a vampire. Finally, Bella lets Edward order more sedatives and pain meds for her, after he's promised not to leave for the 87th time.

NOTABLE NOTES--

1. While Edward is pretending to nap, Bella's mum comments that he never leaves. We've noticed that, too. Bella shouldn't be so bleeding worried about him leaving-- if anything, she should tell him to once in a while.

2. To collaborate the story of Bella's two-staircases-and-a-window incident, it's mentioned that Alice very enthusiastically fabricated evidence at the hotel where it's supposed to have happened. I would much rather have read a chapter about that.

INTENSITY OF EDWARD'S STARE-- It's not going anywhere. It promises.