Toast Patrol Strikes Back!

Once again, my toasty observers, it's time for the Toast Patrol crew to flaunt its infantile sense of humor in the face of Twilight!

Forrest Gumption: This is the headliner on badtaxidermy.com.

Mr. Dr. Toasty: As an aspiring taxidermist, I now aspire to this.

Pither: "Nertz to you, Bell, I CAN FLY, I'M KING OF THE WORLD"

Forrest Gumption: Kinda looks like Peter Pan.

Forrest Gumption: Sparkles with pixie dust, too.

Mr. Dr. Toasty: The fruitiness has finally become too much. Even Bella can't look.

Forrest Gumption: Does anyone else think he looks like Rocket J Squirrel?

Pither: He looks stupid, does that count?

Pither: I think it counts.

Mr. Dr. Toasty: That is quite similar to Rocky's worried face.

Pither: It counts.

Mr. Dr. Toasty: I DEMAND BELLA BE A MOOSE.

Forrest Gumption: So, this is early the next morning, when Bella returns the bountiful bladder bath.

Mr. Dr. Toasty: Eh?

Forrest Gumption: It's the pee happens.

Mr. Dr. Toasty: Ah.

Pither: I thought vampires can only be out at night.

Mr. Dr. Toasty: Not if they get peed on.

Pither: Oh.

Pither: Well I guess that stands to reason.

Mr. Dr. Toasty: In light of the new concerns about sunscreen, I think we can all learn something from this.

Pither: SPF 97898

Mr. Dr. Toastyt: Is that a zip code, or do you know the exact protection rating of Bella's pee?

Forrest Gumption: It's a complex metaphor constructed by Stephenie Meyer to emphasise they're spiritual bond through a simple act of good 'ol fashioned territory markings.

Forrest Gumption: Oh no, I've used the worn their!!!!

Forrest Gumption: Wrong

Forrest Gumption: My god

Forrest Gumption: I think........ I may be writing at Twilight caliber after all these years :(

A New Toast Patrol

I hope everyone enjoyed the debut of 'Toast Patrol', because we enjoyed making it. So, here's s'more!

Forrest Gumption: Is that an antenna?

ToastyLeader: Now it's time to play a fill-in-the-blank game-- 'Edward just realized that__'

Forrest Gumption: HE'S A FRIGGIN ROBOT!

Forrest Gumption: And someone left his emotion switch set to 'did i leave the oven on?'

Pither: Bella is a man.

Forrest Gumption: Bella is clearly a sweater.

Forrest Gumption: And Edward is Carlton Banks.

Pither: Bella has a food baby.

Pither: He has exactly 22 teeth.

Pither: The lupus was hiding all along.

Pither: Those aren't the twilights he was looking for.

Pither: He has two arrows jutting out of his back.

Forrest Gumption: I think this is actually an intimate photo from the wedding night and she's trying to comfort Edward by telling him 'It happens to lots of guys.'

Forrest Gumption: The evidence is there!

ToastyLeader: And yet she looks unconvinced...

Forrest Gumption: I'm just forming a hypotenuse.