Chapter eighteen--three-quarters of the way through Twilight, at last. I warn you in advance, toastyreaders, this chapter will disappoint you. True, we start to get the faintest inkling of a plot that doesn't involve Ed and Bella's snogging schedule, but we're also teased with the carrot of Bella being in mortal peril. Remember, though, that carrot is nothing but a pointy orange stick of empty promises-- not only does Bella survive the chapter, she survives three more books.
CHAPTER SUMMARY-- The Cullen crew casually (suspiciously casually?) stops playing ball just when the not-so-surprise vampire visitors arrive. There are three of them, and one steps forward and introduces himself to Mr. Dr. Cullen as Laurent, adding that the others are James and Victoria (two guys and a girl, in case Laurie LeFrenchpants confused you). I mention names and whatnot because these three will probably be important soon enough, and given the rate at which the story has been failing to move along, let's cross our fingers and hope they make some fast trouble. Anyhoo, Mr. Dr. Cullen and Laurent chat a bit, Laurent expresses interest in the Cullens' ability to keep a permanent residence (it would seem vampers are notoriously bad tenants), and Mr. Dr. Cullen invites the newcomers back to the house, after politely asking them not to hunt nearby for fear of blowing their cover. Just as everyone is about to head back to Chateau Cullen, a convenient breeze carries Bella's scent to James, who perks up and starts talking about snacks. Edward gets rather huffy about this, and the boys assume hostile positions and show their teeth in a somewhat-effective display of aggression. Mr. Dr Cullen insists that Bella is with their family (as does big n' beefy Emmett) and Laurent calls James off, recalling that they agreed not to hunt on the Cullens' turf. A few more lines of tension are thrown in for dramatic effect, but everyone still gets to head to the Cullen house. Alice, Emmett, and Edward announce that they're taking Bella back in the Jeep; once they all strap in, though, Bella finds out that they're actually planning to kidnap her and take her far, far away. James is apparently a 'tracker', and through Edward's handy mind-reading shtick, they've determined that he is now going to hunt Bella relentlessly (hoorah!) unless they can take her somewhere he'll never find her (booo). Bella, however, doesn't want to go anywhere. She throws a fit and demands they stop risking their cover for her (which they're really not) and that she can take care of it herself (which she absolutely can't, especially when there are twigs for her to trip over and stairs for her to fall down). When it's mentioned that James is tracking her smell, she realizes that he'll probably start at Charlie's house, where he'll probably kill Charlie. Edward and Alice argue over which of their mostly non-existent plans they should go with, when Bella pipes up with a plan of her own-- she'll go to her house, tell Charlie she's moving back to Phoenix, then leave, leading James awry. No one can come up with anything better, so they decide to go with Bella's plan, after which Alice and Jasper will take her into hiding in Phoenix while Edward and Emmett stay and try to distract James. They change course for Bella's house, while Bella contemplates whether it'd be worse to be taken away from Edward for a few days or be snacked on.
NOTABLE NOTES--
1. Instead of gold eyes like the Cullens', the newcomers' eyes are burgundy. Snacking on people is apparently the cheap and easy vamp equivalent of buying colored contacts.
2. There's some sort of weird tension through the whole book between Edward and Alice. It's not very well-defined--or written, for that matter--but Shmeyer keeps bringing it up, and in this chapter it causes them to argue a lot. Really, a lot, as in several pages of an uninterrupted Edward-and-Alice bicker-fest.
3. While Bella is describing a particularly sneaky part of her plan, Emmett laughs and calls her 'diabolical'. Bella is clearly a projection of Shmeyer, which means Shmeyer most likely sees herself as being diabolical. I'm starting to suspect--just a bit--that she's doing this to the world on purpose, the fiend.
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