It's a toasty two-pack!
Forrest Gumption: Back in the lair of the tree-dwelling Robo-Pattinson…
Forrest Gumption: We all remember.
Pither: Oh, so THATS what he is in the light.
Forrest Gumption: He floats.
Pither: Sorry if this is lewd, but
Pither: what a bunch of horridly ugly people.
Forrest Gumption: This is the kind of thing his kind normally do in dark alleys or roadside rest areas.
Pither: Is he getting flagged?
Pither: In mid-float?
Pither: Was he floating without a permit?
imp.toast: I d'know...
imp.toast: It kind of just looks like he's being held back from going through with the worst scare attempt ever.
Forrest Gumption: This might be the most extreme game of two-hand touch ever.
Pither: "Does it hurt when i do this?"
Pither: "Is this where he hid the lamp?"
Pither: "Oh wow, it really is like a washboard."
Pither: "Don't push me there, I freeze in a weird hands in the air position."
Pither: "Aw jeez, and ya went and done it anyway."
imp.toast: One of my minor goals in life is now to find Rob Pattinson, grab his stomach, and see if he flails like that.
Pither: "Help, there's a girl on my back!"
Pither: "get it off get it off get it off"
imp.toast: That's not a girl, that's a disembodied pair of un-emotive eyebrows.
Pither: And a shoe.
imp.toast: Actually, the more I look, the more of a confusing mishmash of limbs this becomes.
Pither: "How'd you get up there?" "It was that Potter jerk. Thinks he's all high and mighty just because he's the name of a superior franchise."
imp.toast: "Now Rob, just because you died in that franchise..."
Pither: "NO, IT'S NOT OKAY"
imp.toast: "And you didn't get to take your shirt off..."
Pither: "I WAS GOING TO FIGHT RALPH FIENNES TOO"
imp.toast: "And I know they made you wash your hair, but really..."
Pither: "I hate being stuck up here like this. I'm so exposed to the ... the light..."
imp.toast: "Rob, you need to come down out of the tree. We won't make you bathe or act well, we promise."
Pither: (SHING SPARKLE SPARKLE)
imp.toast: "Rob, stop pretending to be a spatula. Your makeup is running."
Pither: "I want to look beautiful. What is more beautiful?"
imp.toast: Well... compared to this picture, pretty much anything.
Pither: "I have a pimple in my ear."
Pither: "You don't get to look at my hair anymore." 
Forrest Gumption: So, explanations?
Forrest Gumption: They're about 20 mins into a Twilight series marathon.
Forrest Gumption: Bella is trying to look seductive.
Pither: "No, I said to stop after 5. Nine tacos is far too many, look at you now."
Forrest Gumption: Eddie Pee-Pants' hair is just off-screen.
Pither: C-c-c-c-cop a feel.
imp.toast: He thought that dropping acid would make the script make sense, but he was wrong...
Forrest Gumption: Newspaper title reads: "SMEYER to write buddy cop trilogy, 'Jacob and the Baby'."
Pither: "No, they're about to turn the fences back on..."
Forrest Gumption: I think they already have turned the fences on.
Forrest Gumption: He's remembering the last time.
Forrest Gumption: Because he looks like Tim.
imp.toast: He just found out he has to be there for the birthing scene in the last movie.
Pither: "(don't think about poop don't think about poop don't think abOUT POOOOOOooooop)"
Pither: "It's a cat... on a keyboard..... we're not in a space hotel room.. are we...?"
Pither: "OH NO"
imp.toast: He just watched his performance in The Last Airbender.
imp.toast: And so did they.
imp.toast: You can see the revulsion and pity on their faces.
Pither: He just got a coathanger rammed up his poop chute.
Pither: As I said before, I wish the guy in the back WAS M Shadows.
Pither: So he could push these sniveling rats off the screen into the abyss of evil and guns.
imp.toast: I think he's about to.
Forrest Gumption: They're looking into the abyss.
Forrest Gumption: And the evil gun-hole is looking back.
imp.toast: The other two are just handling it a lot better than Ralph McPukeface.
Pither: And the guy behind them is the master of ceremonies.
Pither: "Tonight is the night where you DIE AH HA HA HA HA HA ha ha!"
imp.toast: Now his life is flashing before his eyes, and he's not liking what he's seeing.
Pither: His past life is in fact rejecting itself and packing its bags and leaving for a better host.
imp.toast: That, or Edward peed on the carpet again.
2 comments:
Imp and Company,
Just imagine sitting through the films. At the end I was twitching and blinking as much as Kristen Shtewart. Have pity.
Your Comrade in Suffering,
Miss Impertinence
Funny story (and by 'funny', I mean 'cruel and unusual, and hideously painful to recount')-- I was actually dragged to the first movie on opening night. Since then, I've staunchly sworn them off until I can get my hands on the Rifftrax, and most likely a stiff drink or two for good measure.
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