Chapter Twenty-One (or, Nothing Interesting Happens in a Hotel Room, Pt 2)

(Or, Please Oh Please Oh Please Someone Get Me Out of This Hotel Room)

CHAPTER SUMMARY-- Still confined to the hotel room, Bella wakes up early again and wanders into the front room for no real reason. There, Alice is sketching a new room from a new vision. Bella recognizes it as a room in her mother's house, prompting Alice to immediately call the good Mr. Dr. and company. Bella hyperventilates for a bit, resisting Jasper's attempts to calm her down-- he's had to so many times over the last three chapters, she seems to have built up a tolerance. Alice hangs up and tells Bella Edward is coming to get her so he can hide her elsewhere, throwing Bella into another rant about how her protection is putting everyone in danger, and that they can't possibly protect everyone she cares about forever (which is debatable, since she's only shown evidence of giving a flaming flip about maybe three people in this book). She storms off to her room and curls up in the fetal position for several hours--yes, the fetal position, for several hours. Shmeyer wrote that. I kid you not. Anyway, Alice's phone rings, and Bella wanders into the front room again because even she can sense that this book isn't going anywhere without its frail, newly-discovered plot. Alice informs her that Ed's plane is landing in a few hours, at which point the phone rings again and everyone acts very surprised. Upon answering, Alice hands Bella the phone, saying it's her mother calling back. Bella answers the phone, and her relief at hearing her mother's voice quickly turns to horror when James gets on and explains how Bella has to somehow get away from Alice and Jasper, go to her mother's house, and call the number he leaves by the phone-- provided that Bella doesn't want something dicey to happen to Mum. After hanging up, Bella sits on her bed, resigning herself to the idea that she has to die with a whirlwind monologue evocative of all the worst bits of angst-ridden high school poetry. She then realizes that she'll also never see Edward again, and the angst-ologue starts anew. Bella returns to the front room and asks Alice if she'll take a letter to Bella's mom's house for her; Alice agrees. Bella then writes a letter to Edward instead, in which her angst reiterates itself, then wallows in its own self-pity before beating itself to death with a sorrowful farewell.

NOTABLE NOTES--

1. They're still stuck in the hotel room, did I mention? I'm sure I did, but Shmeyer brings it up so VERY many times that I felt everyone should hear it again. By the way, they're still stuck in a hotel room.

2. After the previous chapter and now this one, I feel as if I'M stuck in a hotel room with Bella, and that's one of the very last places I ever want to be. I'd really like to kill her now. Team James, anyone?

INTENSITY OF EDWARD'S STARE-- not in the chapter once again, so let's modify this section:

INTENSITY OF MY BOREDOM WITH THIS CHAPTER-- aaaaaaaaaaaaauuuughhhhh... {as I claw madly at my own head in a desperate attempt to free my brain from Shmeyer's prose}