Chapter Eleven (in which Edward asks the questions we've never wanted to ask)

Another day, another chapter-ful of Stephenie Meyer's projectile word-vomit.

CHAPTER SUMMARY-- Immediately following the lunchroom drama of Chapter Ten, Bella and Edward head to Biology, where they sit very close to each other in the dark and completely fail to watch an educational film. Mind you, nothing scandalous happens-- they just sit there, while Bella hyperventilates a bit over how much having the lights off makes her want to snog Edward. Finally-- after what seems like an eternity of Bella describing how much she wants to snog Edward-- Biology ends, gym rolls around, and since Bella is apparently so epically bad at sports that no one will come near her, Mike (remember Mike?) offers to be Bella's badminton teammate, once again reminding us that there are several perfectly acceptable minor characters that Bella just can't pay attention to when Edward is within a few miles (or has smiled recently). On the ride home, Bella points out that it's 'later', hearkening back to the lunchroom conversation of Chapter Ten (wherein she asked whether she could see Edward hunt, and he said no, and she asked why, and he said he'd tell her later). Edward cedes that it is in fact 'later', then explains that when hunting, vampires 'govern with their senses', 'lose control', and a few other phrases evocative of the end of The Rocky Horror Picture Show. Soon, the car ride is over, then very little happens until the car ride the next morning. Edward picks Bella up for school and promptly announces that it's his turn to ask questions... and he does, for the rest of the chapter. He spends the entire school day and the ride home asking every trivial question he can think of, then sits in Bella's driveway for several hours and asks more. When he realizes that Charlie is almost home, he says goodnight and starts to leave, then stops, says something about 'another complication', and leaves very abruptly (yes, it was that convoluted). Even Bella is a bit confused, especially when Jacob Black and his father Billy (of former-truck-owner fame) then pull up into her driveway. End of chapter. NOTE-- I can't be sure, but I think this may be Smeyer's first attempt at a cliffhanger.

NOTABLE NOTES--

1. Edward reads Mike's mind after gym class to find out just how spastic Bella is. Bella quickly figures that out, then throws a hissy. Just figured I'd mention it, in case anyone's counting hissies. I've lost count.

2. Bella's favorite stone is topaz, because it's the color of Edward's eyes (pshawwwwww). I don't know which flowers she prefers because apparently, Smeyer couldn't come up with a sappy enough response to merit writing it down.

3. This chapter was too bloody uninteresting for there to be anything else notable.

INTENSITY OF EDWARDS STARE-- it burrrrrrrrns...